January 2021 – The Executive Psychologist

Unemployed businesswoman depressed sitting on a path due to company bankrupted while coronavirus … [+] spreading situation

As we’re moving toward the one-year mark of the pandemic, it may be time to admit that we’re not okay. Some days are fine, but many people are quietly suffering, overwhelmed by conflicting news stories, stifled due to sheltering at home, and frustrated talking about planning plans that can’t be planned (still).

It’s cold, we’re weary and unmotivated. Despite this, we muster a “hanging in there” response when asked how we’re doing, skipping “by a very thin and tattered thread,” which reflects more accurately how we feel.

Many have experienced the hardships of layoffs, pay cuts and furloughs. These circumstances are extremely difficult during normal times, never mind in a pandemic that’s created a volatile and highly competitive market.

Our jobs are our livelihoods. They provide structure and meaning and shape identity. For many, work is the basis of social relationships, mental stimulation and physical activity. So, it’s understandable how long-term unemployment or a major change in work circumstances can have a devastating impact, and a spillover effect into other areas of our lives.

If this resonates, you’re not alone. Even the most resilient individuals are experiencing the impact of pandemic burnout. While there are rarely quick fixes, there are several research-backed techniques that can help.

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Don’t dismiss your feelings. Compartmentalizing emotions can be a helpful coping mechanism on occasion, but feelings will wait patiently to be addressed. While finding silver linings can help balance negativity, dismissing your own emotions because “others have it much worse” just compounds the problem, making you feel both sad and guilty. Take care of yourself: Acknowledge your anger, loneliness, sadness or anxiety. Ask yourself what you might advise a good friend to do when feeling this way, and then take your own advice. If bad days come and go, simple re-sets may be enough. Give yourself permission to chill out in your PJs with Netflix. Spend the afternoon with the book that’s been sitting on your nightstand. Ask a neighbor to watch the kids for a few hours while you grab a nap.

Foundation is key. While some advice is easier said than done, there is much evidence that the basics like good sleep, a balanced diet, daily movement and supportive relationships account for a great deal of well-being. It’s true that many of our habits have changed in the last year in response to the pandemic. However, if your coping strategies are doing more harm than good, it may be time to revisit them. Get back to the basics: Identify one area to change and start there. Trying to make multiple changes simultaneously may cause all of them to flounder. Set a timer to get up and stretch or do some quick squats every hour during the workday. Trade-off unhealthy beverages with water twice per day. Have a telehealth meeting with your doctor about how to improve your sleep hygiene.

Baby steps. When depression takes hold, sometimes even the most basic things seem incredibly daunting. Facing the day with a lengthy to-do list can feel overwhelming and exhausting. Research shows that breaking down large goals into smaller chunks helps you to accomplish them. You can use this strategy to inspire energy when things feel formidable. Break it down: Commit to a task like working, cleaning or exercising for only five minutes, then stop if you like. Most people will keep going, and the reason this works is because the brain is “tricked” to get past the hardest part, which is usually getting started.

Connect (or isolate). There are few “one-size-fits-all” techniques that work for everyone, so tune into your needs and take steps that work for you. While research shows that connecting with supportive people in our lives can boost our moods, sometimes we require quiet space to reset. Having supportive relationships in your life that you know you can count on is different than interacting constantly. Honor your needs: If the Zoom meeting with friends is energizing, bring some conversation starters and enjoy. If you need an evening off from online interactions, phone calls and text messages, take it.

Help someone else. Research shows that helping others actually does a lot to boost our own mood. Whether you feel comfortable volunteering in-person or are looking for opportunities that can be completed from your couch, there are many options to choose from. Create some joy: It doesn’t matter if your preference is finding a formal opportunity on a website like VolunteerMatch or offering to shovel your neighbor’s walkway — volunteering gives you purpose and structure. Small niceties like mailing greeting cards or baking for a friend can engage your talents and make someone’s day, while also returning the emotional favor.

Do one thing differently each day. This is one of my favorite solution-focused techniques. Whether stuck in a career rut or struggling with cabin fever, the act of intentionally choosing to do one thing differently each day gets us out of a rut and forces our brains to stop over relying on habits that may be contributing to our negative feelings. Make change a habit: Sit at a different place at the dinner table. Brush with your non-dominant hand. Watch a new program. Try a new recipe. It really doesn’t matter what it is or how long it takes. The conscious act of mixing things up will enable you to see the world from a different perspective, which may lead to creative ideas and interesting discoveries.

Get support. There’s a reason that mental health professionals have seen a massive uptick in the request for services. We all need extra support in these unprecedented times. In the same way we’re taking precautions around our physical health by wearing masks, social distancing and staying home, it’s equally important to be proactive about our mental health. Find help: Support comes in many forms – a therapist, career coach, clergy, friend, mentor – and most of us engage with a variety of these supports at different times throughout our lives. The world we live in is complex, and rarely predictable. The events of the past year have proven that. Most services are available via telehealth, phone or even text, and offer a variety of reasonable payment options. If you are looking for a qualified mental health professional in your area, please check these resources: NAMI, SAMHSA, TalkSpace.

One of my personal favorite ways to quickly de-stress is to relax my face. It may sound strange, but when I stop what I’m doing occasionally to tune into my body, I often find that my jaw and fists are clenched and my shoulders are tight, even though there’s no rational reason. Our bodies often recognize our emotions before our brains, so it helps to pay attention.

Happy hunting.

abstract 3d digital concept people’s need a job

You’ve likely been given the career advice not to resign from your current job before securing a new role. But why? Well, there are two primary contributing factors for this:

The hiring process is about elimination, not selection. At least initially. Most posted jobs receive hundreds of applicants, so an Applicant Tracking System (ATS) is used to whittle down the list to a more manageable number. About 25% of resumes make it to human eyes, but even at this stage, the process is still focused on reducing the number of candidates to a reasonable number to interview. Unfortunately, some employers view unemployment as a red flag and utilize this to cut you from the list.
Hiring is highly biased. Even when smart technology is used, it is programmed by humans, who by nature are biased, often unconsciously. Assumptions are made based on incomplete information or previous experience, which can negatively impact applicants. Research shows that employers discriminate against jobless candidates and tend to rate employed applicants higher on hireability. Also, the longer a person is unemployed, the lower the chances of getting an interview.

So, when given the option, it’s best to find a new job before leaving your old one. However, we’re not always given this choice, and many have learned this firsthand over the past year.

If you find yourself unemployed and looking, here’s what you can do:

Maintain your brand. Whether you’re earning a paycheck or not, your brand is never “between jobs” or “currently searching” when introducing yourself or on social media. If you’re networking (and you need to be), people will ask where you work or what you do, and you may be tempted to immediately relay that you’re currently unemployed – don’t. Instead, clearly share the value and outcomes you provide to your target audience, including a relatable accomplishment for credibility. Of course, you can also share you’re currently looking for new opportunities, but that should be secondary, once you begin to establish the relationship and share an understanding of what you offer as a professional. Your skills, abilities and worth don’t diminish just because you’re not employed for a period of time.

Don’t spend 100% on you job search. This may seem counterintuitive at first. While it may be tempting to focus all your spare time looking for a job, this will lead to burnout and there are other activities that can contribute to this goal, while also building your marketable skills and network. Earning a relevant certification, volunteering at a community non-profit or working part-time on a side hustle can all be beneficial to your job search, marketability and mental health. In addition to providing you with some structure, which can be invaluable, you will build your connections and gain valuable skills. Employers will want to know that you’ve spent an employment gap being intentional. There is a different vibe that comes across when you speak about this time in a manner that has purpose and focus. So, whether you’ve spent this time homeschooling your children, caring for an ill family member, or taking on a leadership role in an industry association, these activities will boost both your mood and your candidacy.

Address your demons. A layoff or unexpected unemployment of any kind can have a huge impact on confidence and lead to feelings of anger, anxiety or grief. Denying it just means it will take longer to resolve and more forward. Worse, these emotions will seep through when networking and interviewing negatively impacting your success, even if you believe you’re doing a good job concealing them. Combine that with the fact that attitude and likability play a large role in getting hired and being successful, you’ll understand why bringing negativity into the job search process will most certainly delay the outcome. Although you may feel the need to rush into a job search, taking space to process what happened, reflect on your goals and regroup will likely propel your job search rather than set it back.

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Practice your story. Although many people you know seem to have a linear career path based on their resumes, most people have professional trajectories that look more like a series of zigzags than a straight line. Careers often unfold through a series of both intentional and unexpected discoveries, good and bad decisions, and life happenstances that derail or boost our professional goals. The idea that anyone has an uninterrupted employment history without a few bumps is a fantasy, and is becoming even more rare as the future of work significantly shifts supply and demand in the marketplace. What’s most important is that you continue to reinvent yourself and your career story to align with the needs of the market and your audience. This doesn’t mean fabricating untruths, but rather organizing your history in a manner that shows how your relevant abilities solve problems in the current market and leaving out the parts that no longer make sense in the current ecomony.

Own it. If you work for any length of time, you will inevitably experience a layoff, employment gap or other unanticipated career hurdle. This is not something to be embarrassed about or apologize for, it’s just par for the professional journey. When networking or interviewing, avoid overexplaining the situation, which can sound defensive. If asked, speak about it neutrally and briefly, then move on to the value you bring to the marketplace or company. You’ll likely find many hiring managers who’ve been in the same place as you, who can relate to the situation. So, when you demonstrate that you can take setbacks in stride, build a plan and move forward, they’ll quickly forget about the topic and be more interested in discussing how you can contribute to their strategic goals. The storyteller directly impacts the level of drama conveyed, which means you wield the power of the messages your audience receives.

Get social. There’s s stigma associated with unemployment that tends to cause many job seekers to retreat from their networks, especially as time goes on. Resist this urge. In my TEDx Talk, I discuss the job search as a social activity, and one that all professionals will be engaging in every few years as the marketplace shifts towards “tours of duty,” skills continue to have a five-year halflife, and machines become our coworkers. Changing jobs, switching careers and reskilling are becoming increasingly commonplace, which means that exchanges about professional goals will be standard at the dinner table, holiday parties and social gatherings. This is a huge benefit as people can help one another get connected to opportunities and fill gaps in their own companies. Be focused and targeted in your message, making it easy for others to help you. And, don’t underestimate those closest in your inner circle. They’re your biggest cheerleaders and need to understand your goals, target and brand to assist, so be sure to share them clearly.

The good news is that the pandemic of 2020, which impacted tens of millions of jobs has caused recruiters to rethink unemployment and have a more open point of view, recognizing that these situations are unavoidable at times. However, it’s tough to predict if this perception will last as the market rebalances. The steps listed above will continue to bridge the gap regardless of the economy.